Check out Andy Borowitz for the best political farce happening today:
Paul Ryan Vows to Continue Kevorkian’s Work
Medicare to be Replaced with ‘Kevouchers’
As a first step to memorialize the work of Dr. Kevorkian, Rep. Ryan said that his new budget plan would replace Medicare with a system of so-called “Kevouchers” that could be redeemed for cyanide pills, nooses and bullets.
In other political news, Rep. Anthony Weiner (D-NY) suffered another setback today, in the form of these harsh words of criticism from former President Bill Clinton: “In my day, we’d show it to ‘em in person.”
The avalanche of ridicule suffered by Rep. Weiner in recent days finally drew some pushback from a member of the congressman’s staff.
“It is time for all of these babyish ‘wiener’ jokes to stop,” said new Weiner spokesman Hugh G. Rection.
Elsewhere, a new study shows that when you talk on your cell phone everyone around you can hear every fucking word you’re saying.