Andy Borowtiz is just as funny – if not more so, in his one-liners on Twitter. I finally succumbed and looked at his Twitter feed. Here are some of his one-liners. I could hardly stay on my computer chair while reading them.
This makes for great pain relief – the great Paul Cousins used humor to alleviate the symptoms of his disease and I heartily recommend it – whether physical or other pain! Here he is:
It’s been a week since the world was supposed to end, and I wasted most of it on Twitter.
Palin Urges Gaddafi to Quit: ‘Then You Can Get Your Own TV Show’
Maybe we wouldn’t need to Drill, Baby, Drill if Sarah Palin didn’t take so many bus tours.
Palin, on her 2012 chances: “Oprah proved this week that America loves people who quit stuff.”
I just saw the new Sarah Palin movie. Todd doesn’t have a speaking role.
The question isn’t “Will Sarah Palin run in 2012?”, it’s “Who will be President in 2014 when she quits?”
Bring back Bubonic Plague to reduce Medicare rolls.
In the Paul Ryan budget, Social Security is replaced by a program in which seniors are issued “Will Work 4 Food” signs.
I think I’m having such a hard time saying goodbye to Oprah because I never said hello to her.
My ability to tweet started improving once I stopped having complete thoughts.
FEMA surveys wreckage of Eric Cantor
Everyone on Twitter: We really should have written the works of Shakespeare by now. Type faster.
For the 2012 campaign, Obama is counting on all the key people who helped him win in 2008, including Sarah Palin.
Harold Camping just predicts the end of the world – people like Paul Ryan do the hard work of making it happen.
The Ryan budget calls for Medicare to be replaced by Predator drones shooting at old people.
The Republicans need to come up with a more appealing alternative to Medicare than death.
FEMA estimates the cost of rebuilding Eric Cantor’s soul
DC Comics Names Eric Cantor New Batman Villain
Eric Cantor’s official statement: “While I have never experienced a tornado per se, I do live in a moral vacuum.”
I rest my case. Thank you, Andy.